Twitter Parents Reveal The Creepiest Things Kids Have Said

Parents on Twitter Reveal the Creepiest Things their Kids Have Said

Kids are cute but they can be a bit frightening, especially if you don't have any or aren't around them a lot. Plus, that soft spot on babies head is terrifying...Why would they put a self destruct button on a baby?

Writer Mikki Kendall recently asked parents on Twitter what the creepiest thing they've ever heard a kid say. Some of them were hilarious and others were downright horrific. If you're on the fence about having kids, hopefully this doesn't scare you off.

People who interact with kids, what is the single weirdest/creepiest thing a kid has ever said to you? It's Saturday night so why not creep yourself out? pic.twitter.com/6pK92nOkmG

— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) January 28, 2018

20 Twitter Stories Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Page 3

I was in Walgreens and a girl screamed out “this my third Walgreens who tf buying up all the plan b’s?!” 😭😭😭 y’all know I died in there. Like crying tears

— ole' razzle dazzle (@notnice_Jenn) January 1, 2018

today in class this guy I was sitting next to had a bag of carrots & the entire class he kept throwing them into his backpack. I asked him what he was doing & he was like "oh sorry do u want one? they're for Kent" and then just whips open his backpack to show his chinchilla Kent

— char (@charlottejorrey) December 4, 2017

Earlier today I went to a girl's highschool soccer game and there was a rough play where two players went to the ground. I guess one of them pulled the other's hair so she gets up and says "I liked it better when your bf pulled my hair" not even the ref knew what to do. I fainted

— Ricky Corona (@RickyCoronaa) December 30, 2017

just heard a drunk girl outside my house scream “I’m going to Jeff’s!” and like three friends simultaneously said “you are not going to Jeff’s” and honestly that’s the most relatable shit of all time

— triscuit (@kaspanky) December 21, 2017

So get this, two years ago in South Padre this girl let me log into her Spotify premium for a pregame and she still hasn't kicked me off it...modern day love story I hope you're doing well babe

— Mike (@CallMeTownes) November 25, 2017

My aunt got a google home for Xmas & she already has “Alexa”. This morning we were messing around with the google home and asked, “okay google what do you think of Alexa” and it answered “I like her blue light” and from across the room Alexa turned on and said “thanks”. im scared

— allison (@AllisonCalhoun1) December 25, 2017

I once tried to surprise my date by not telling her what restaurant we were going to. I accidentally picked the one she worked at. #WorstFirstDate

— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) January 10, 2018

20 Twitter Stories Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Page 2

I met someone today who worked for Triple A and I thought they said Chick-fil-A so after 15 min of talking, I asked what his specific job was and he said roadside assistance and I was like wow chick-fil-a is unmatched...then I asked how they make their sauce and then it got weird

— Josh (@yourejoshinme_) January 5, 2018

just saw an elderly woman shoplift at walgreens and she knew i saw her. she gave me a look like “are you going to snitch?” and i gave her a look like “ hell no, i ain’t no cop” and then we gave each other a look like “fuck the man” it was beautiful

— TRILLIONAIRE💰 (@maltyhops) January 11, 2018

There is a group of women getting on my flight and one has a shirt that says “just divorced” and the others have shirts that say “divorce support group” and they are all plastered. Those are the type of friends everyone needs in their life lmao

— Ashley (@a_pfeiffer13) January 6, 2018

So this girl I volunteer with showed me this video last week of her leg giving out during a HS dive competition and I now watch regularly when i need a laugh pic.twitter.com/UalGTUeb9C

— Lesley Goynes (@lesleygoynes) December 2, 2017

a girl passed out at the party im at and was out for a solid hour or so and then we started playing africa and she rose from the dead right in the middle of the chorus

— *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ (@satinmilk) January 1, 2018

My man just FaceTimed me drunk as hell eating a slice of pizza while walking down the street and he goes YOU WANNA KNOW HOW PERFECT YOU ARE? LOOK AT THIS PIZZA... FOR YOU, I’LL DROP THIS PIZZA. IT’S GONE! and just threw the damn pizza into the street

— Kelly (@kellyblaus) November 27, 2017

once we went to the dentist w my mom & it was just us and 1 other guy in the waiting room. jurassic park was starting on the tv so we sat and waited through the entire movie. no names called. as the credits rolled the other man got up and called my moms name. he was the DENTIST

— kitty ray (@kittaveli) December 24, 2017

This guy got on the bus and just stared at me and Lulabelle on my lap for a solid 30 seconds then goes “are you allowed to have dogs on the bus” and I just shrugged thinking he was gonna give me shit or something but then he pulls out a chihuahua out of nowhere

— alek🐌 (@mogvvai) November 14, 2017

20 Twitter Stories Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

When Twitter only allowed 140 characters it was hard to tell a story or get your point across. Now that they've doubled that number to 280 characters, we get these brilliant gems. 

My coworker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn’t try going back to it for 30 years but he finally did and the moment he stepped in someone yelled “Get the hell out of here Dennis” And that’s probably my favorite story ever

— Brennan (@Bmangall20) December 13, 2017

13 years ago I ordered an m&m blizzard at Dairy Queen and the lady who took my order screamed “ONE SMALL M&M BLIZZARD!!!” at the top of her lungs then immediately turned around and started making it herself and it’s still the funniest thing that has ever happened to me

— hannah sorrell (@hannahkimberlee) December 8, 2017

In my 6th grade science class a girl read "orgasm" instead of "organism" and the class laughed & she was embarrassed. To calm her down our teacher told her everyone would forget in two weeks. It's been 9 years & I still remember Danielle. I fucking remember. I hope you see this. pic.twitter.com/gCXcXbJX2i

— wes (@sewkx) January 6, 2018

My roommate went on a bumble date and was nervous so decided to pound shots in her car once she got to the place they were meeting and the guy was parked next to her and watched her chug vodka for 5 minutes.

Dating is rough.

— Syd (@s_kerekes) December 21, 2017

one time I stumbled into Waffle House ridiculously drunk and the waitress gave me free food and water till I sobered up, made sure I wasn’t driving and that my friend would take me someplace I’d be safe. It’s not a Waffle House, issa Waffle Home. https://t.co/tQZaGUIUXd

— IT Bae (@ICVRUS) January 5, 2018

So they changed my gate in my layover and I ask the employee what the gate changed too. I showed her my screenshotted ticket and she looked at me strange and just ask me where I was going. I told her and then looked at my phone to realize I was actually showing her this pic.twitter.com/ZvfqV4p4yn

— Jordan ☀👀 (@TheRavenousDyke) December 29, 2017

Wendy's Killed it During their Ask Me Anything

If you're unaware, there is a website called Reddit. It is the self-proclaimed "Front Page of the Internet." I tend to agree since most news sites get their "pop culture" stories from Reddit. I can't count the number of times I'll read something on Reddit and then see it making the rounds on Facebook, several days later...not unlike this post. 

Reddit also does Ask Me Anything (AMA). This is basically where a famous or notable person answers questions from the internet. Sometimes they backfire (See REI CEO).

If you know anything about Wendy's you'll know they're the Kings of Frostys and the Kings on Twitter...among fast food restaurants. Their twitter team recently did an AMA on Reddit and explained all the times other fast food places needed to visit the burn center.




How the team was assembled

How they got the job

The people in charge

On other Twitter accounts

Bonuses?

How Old are you People?

Getting in Trouble

About McDonalds

 For reference...

How Savage are they?

20+ Times Gordan Ramsey 'Roasted' Amature Chefs on Twitter

Gordan Ramsey is multi Michelin starred chef best known for his extreme temper and use of expletives on his TV shows. He often makes blunt and controversial comments, including insults and wisecracks about contestants and their cooking abilities. 

He also owns about two dozen restaurants in 5 out of 7 continents.

His side gig involves criticizing pictures people post on twitter of dishes they made. These are some of the best.  



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