However, there is one Swiss Army Knife out there which rules them all...
The Wegner 16999 Swiss Army Knife has 141 functions and costs around $1400, if you can find it new. I don't think you can and buying it used will set you back nearly $10,000. You can still find it on Amazon and it has some hilarious reviews.
Click the picture below to see all 141 functions.
And here are the reviews...
Sadly there are some things it can't do...
If you're looking for a knife you can actually afford, check out some of these:
Gerber Paraframe
10 Function Swiss Army Knife
Shameless YouTube Video Plug: Tuna Torch