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Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Thursday, December 5, 2019

49 of The Best Tweets About Decorating For The Holidays

Hopefully everyone made it through Thanksgiving. If you're still alive, Congratulations, your reward is attempting to make it through Christmas Season. What's that, you're not tired of Christmas music yet? Don't worry, there's still all the gingerbread, peppermint, decorating and last minute shopping at crowded stores to deal with. 

Decorating your home for the holiday season is far from simple feat, particularly when you have children's expectations to contend with. Here are 50 funny tweets from parents (and a few non-parents) who were there to decorate for Christmas.




























































And For When You're Sick of It All...



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Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Ultimate Secret Santa / Yankee Swap / White Elephant Christmas Gift List

It's that time of year again where offices and families around the world swap Christmas Gifts. Whether you pick a specific gift for a person, or you pick a random gift and then you're allowed to keep it or steal someone else's gift, it's a big PITA to try find a gift under $20 or $30...




 Fear no longer, just pick a gift from this list and you'll leave everyone satisfied (TWSS)...Just don't be like a certain Regional Manger from a midsize paper company and buy and iPod for the Temp who you want to be best friends with and then get mad when you only get a homemade oven mitt.

1. Light Saber Chopsticks


 

2.Cookie Pocket Mug




3. Holiday S'mores Mug Gift Set

4. Leather Beer Holster

5. 14 in 1 Multi-tool / Camping / Car / Survival Kit





6. Coffee Mug Warmer


 

7. Shower Caddy For Wine Glass or Beer Can

8. Beer Soap

9. Wine Soap


10. WiFi Smart Outlet


11.GoT Themed Beer Mug




12. Ultimate Oreo Dunking Set



13.Wine Bottle Hidden Umbrella




14. Foot Spa




15. Teapot




16. Oven Mitts




17. Whiskey Stones Gift Set



18. Wine Cork Shadow Box



 

19. Bonsai Tree





20. iPod



21. Cards Against Humanity




22. Decorative Fire Pit Skulls




23. Desktop Bowling




24. Wireless Bluetooth Speaker




25. Echo Dot w/ ALEXA



26. Jerky Sticks



27. Portable Battery Charger




28. Minimalist Wallet









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Monday, December 10, 2018

Baby It's Cold Outside, Is NOT a Song About Rape


This song has been the center of controversy for the past few years around Christmas time. It is a duet written by Frank Loesser in 1944. The song is famous for it's appearance in the 1949 movie Neptune's Daughter. 


This year, the song has been frozen out because of political correctness outrage due to an ignorance of what the lyrics actually meant at the time of the recording. 

"This #MeToo-era-cum-yuletide-season, radio stations are pulling the plug on that holiday earworm with lyrics that, to some, ring date-rape warning bells, rather than evoking innocent snow-bound flirtation."


A feminist defense of the lyrics points out that when they were written a woman with a good reputation had to protest a man's advances, even if she actually welcomed them, and the song's figurative woman is actually expressing her sexuality in a veiled era-appropriate way:

"
"It’s time to bring an end to the Rape Anthem Masquerading As Christmas Carol"
Hi there! Former English nerd/teacher here. Also a big fan of jazz of the 30s and 40s. 
So. Here’s the thing. Given a cursory glance and applying today’s worldview to the song, yes, you’re right, it absolutely *sounds* like a rape anthem. 
BUT! Let’s look closer! 
“Hey what’s in this drink” was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that there’s actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol.
See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dude’s house. In the 1940’s, that’s the kind of thing Good Girls aren’t supposed to do — and she wants people to think she’s a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what she’s really concerned about: “the neighbors might think,” “my maiden aunt’s mind is vicious,” “there’s bound to be talk tomorrow.” But she’s having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink — unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. That’s the joke. That is the standard joke that’s going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says “hey, what’s in this drink?” It is not a joke about how she’s drunk and about to be raped. It’s a joke about how she’s perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she’s living in a society where women aren’t supposed to have sexual agency.
Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject men’s advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it’s normal and expected for a lady’s gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won’t be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than “I’m staying because I want to.” (That’s the main theme of the man’s lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, he’s pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and she’s using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but can’t say so. She states explicitly that she’s resisting because she’s supposed to, not because she wants to: “I ought to say no no no…” She states explicitly that she’s just putting up a token resistance so she’ll be able to claim later that she did what’s expected of a decent woman in this situation: “at least I’m gonna say that I tried.” And at the end of the song they’re singing together, in harmony, because they’re both on the same page and they have been all along.
So it’s not actually a song about rape - in fact it’s a song about a woman finding a way to exercise sexual agency in a patriarchal society designed to stop her from doing so. But it’s also, at the same time, one of the best illustrations of rape culture that pop culture has ever produced. It’s a song about a society where women aren’t allowed to say yes…which happens to mean it’s also a society where women don’t have a clear and unambiguous way to say no."
 

 
This, taking things out of context and trying to have them banned or get people fired needs to stop. 


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Sunday, December 17, 2017

The Hipster Nativity Scene

Are you tired of the same boring nativity scene each Christmas?

 No?

 Well then you'll definitely be offended by the Hipster version for Millennials.


The entire things is very authentic for the 21st century...

.

First you have Joseph and Mary (who is definitely not a virgin in this scene) taking a selfie with new baby JC.


Joseph, sporting a trendy beard, most likely has the new iPhone X (ten not X) which he waited in line for several hours to get.


Mary looks hungover with her shoulder and bra strap showing while holding a Starbucks cup, I'd guess pumpkin spice latte, giving the peace sign while making a duck face. You can NOT cram anymore stereotypes into Mary's character if you tried.



Then you have the three Wisemen on Segways delivering Amazon packages. Mary and Joseph must be Amazon Prime Members and ordered something from Prime Now. 

Each of the three Wisemen is sporting a different classic Hipster look. 


 
You also have the Shepard Instagramming the event from his iPad accompanied by his animals...

A sheep wearing a winter sweater...





 And, the best part, a 100% Organic cow eating Gluten Free oats.


Oh, don't forget the eco-friendly manger which is powered by solar panels.


 This entire thing is brilliant.

Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial

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Friday, December 15, 2017

Everyone's Buying a God Damn Instant Pot



I heard about these things over a year ago but had a slow cooker so I didn't care. Eventually I decided to buy one...

 Now everyone seems to be buying one this Christmas. They're basically sold out EVERYWHERE.

You can try to buy one HERE


Amazon: Maybe you'll get it by Christmas.

It'll be in stock on December 20th at the earliest.

 $440!!!!!


Target: None available within 100 miles










Best Buy: None available within 250 miles




If you still want one, good luck. Maybe you can sacrifice a child for one.










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