Monday, February 19, 2018

Stories from a Traveling Salesman - Part 3



"This was one of my first trips, out to Kansas State. Was there for a few days working, very nice group of people (and I guess one of the best vet schools in the nation.)
So when most people think "big college", where a big college is a Division 1 school like Kansas State, they usually think "big city".
Nuh uh. Not in this case.
Kansas State is in Manhattan, Kansas. It's a small city (50kish population), and it's in the middle of Kansas. Literally an hour from anything else besides cows and wheat. There's the university and... well, there's the university.
So I flew into the little airport in Manhattan, did my work, and was preparing to fly out in an evening. God had other plans.
There was a snowstorm a comin'. A big one. It was all over the radio, the news, Kansas was about to get hit in a manner of an hour or two.
Now I didn't really look forward to getting snowed into Manhattan, Kansas. No offense to any Manhattanites reading this, but I could think of a long list of places I'd like to spend a weekend, and Manhattan (KS) was near the bottom.
So the second my work was done, I drove as fast as possible to the airport, even though my flight wasn't due to depart for four hours or so. I wanted to get ahead of the weather, to get confirmation of what I knew was about to happen...
Sprinting up to the flight desk, I breathlessly asked.. "You guys are going to close the airport, aren't you. We're getting snowed in. You're going to cancel my flight, right?"
A few people gathered around the gate craned their necks in, eager to hear what she had to say.
The agent looked around at her sudden audience, pursed her lips, and nodded assent. "Yup, we're going to cancel it, pretty soon. You guys aren't going anywhere".
I turned away from the gate, cellphone in hand. I was NOT getting snowed in here. Called my boss immediately, I had already done my homework with the car rental agency.
"Hey boss. About to get snowed in in Kansas. Listen, the car rental company charges $100 to drop a car off at another airport, and my connecting flight is in Kansas City. Can I have permission to pay the... got it. Thanks boss, owe you one."
Now my audience hadn't all gone away. There was a soldier sitting there, sitting on his rucksack, listening to me talk to my boss.
"Hey buddy, my flight is connecting through Kansas City too. Can I score a ride?"
Now, it is verboten to take anyone, anywhere, for any reason when renting a car through my company. There's probably so many legal issues with it, can you blame them? But this was a soldier, he had to be cool. I wasn't going to strand this kid/guy here just for some liability crap no one would find out about anyway.
"Sure thing man, let's go".
As we sprinted back to the rental desk, the snow began to fall. And fall, and fall, and fall. We hurried out to the car, and peeled out of the lot, but Old Man Winter caught us.
I'm from Ohio. Not only am I from Ohio, I'm from Ohio in the lake effect region. I know snow. I live, breathe, and eat snow covered roads for months out of the year. I drive in it without a 2nd thought. Never been a problem for me.
Except for a Kansas blizzard. Fuck. that. noise. See here's the thing about Kansas. THERE'S NOTHING TO BLOCK THE WIND. So the snow doesn't fall down. It falls sideways. Plows can't do shit, and it's not like Ohio where eventually people wear ruts into the road down to the pavement through the snow. As soon as a car passed, the whole highway's snow was shifted 50 feet to the right, replaced with fresh snow from the prairie. Also, you couldn't see a damn thing.
So I'm white knuckle, going as fast as I dare, but I can barely even keep the car on the road, because I don't even know where the road is, it's just white. Everything is white.
Couple hours pass, we're getting past Topeka, heading east, but I keep glancing at the clock. We're not going to make it. And I just can't bring myself to go faster. Too scared. I confess my cowardice to my passenger.
"Hey I can drive, I drove truck for the Army".
Say what now? This guy is a professional? Army trained, ooo rah? I didn't even think twice. Pulled over, Chinese fire drill, slam the doors, GO GO GO.
And he took off like a bat out of hell. No fear in this guy, no hesitation. We were pushing 60,70,80, screaming down the snow covered freeway.
Through clenched teeth I asked him how often he drove in snow before.
"Oh I just drove truck in Afghanistan. And I'm from California, so I've never actually driven in the snow"
What.
The.
Fuck.
My jaw dropped, and I just stared at him. He was completely non-chalant, screaming down the highway in a crappy econo-rental Honda that weighs about 400 pounds empty, fighting against the wind blowing us off the road. (By far the most scared I was on the road, well except for that one night at the hotel in Phoenix, but that's another story)
But I wasn't going to look like a pussy in front of this kid. If he can do Afghanistan, I can sit in a car with him for another hour in freaking Kansas.
How we made it to Kansas City without wrecking I don't know. How we made it without me crapping my drawers is the real mystery. But we made it. Now I didn't make my flight, but happily, he made his, so in that way, it was worth it.
And if you're going to be snowed in somewhere, Kansas City isn't all that bad."


No comments:

Post a Comment