Thursday, July 19, 2018

8 Versions of a Joke Told at a Funeral.




1.   A man is at a funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Plethora"

The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, that means a lot."

2.   A man is at a funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Bargain".

The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, that means a great deal."

3.   A man is at a funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Infinity".

The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, that means more than you know."


4.  A man is at a funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word or two. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Being alive“.

The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, he would've liked that“.

5.   A man is at a funeral of an old Spanish friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word or two. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "El Mundo“.

The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, that means the world to me“.


6.   A man is at a funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word or two. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Train whistle“.

The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, I wish he could have heard that“.

(spoiler, he was killed by a train)


7.  A man is at a funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say something. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Something“.

The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, that was really something."

8.  A man is at a funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Aorta".

The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, that's close to my heart."













Thursday, June 21, 2018

30+ People Who Have Mastered Online Dating - Page 2


37. LET THEM VOTE! LET THEM VOTE!




38. Defintely not scamming for money



39. Did you take him?


40. Well after that last one, she's going to make fun of you





30+ People Who Have Mastered Online Dating

Dating is hard. If you suffer from the fear of rejection, walking up to someone with the intention of asking them out is difficult. 

Enter Online Dating

It's easy to send a message to someone since there isn't any downside. No one will point and laugh if she (or he) doesn't want to talk to you. 

Tinder has changed the game since the days of Match.com and eHarmony. Now you just write a clever line or two as a profile and swipe away. 

Some people are too clever and have taken online dating to the next level...

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19. I'll show you my stinger




20. Apply Warm Water to the burn.




21. Yes, you're doing it right.


 22. The best of course


23. Don't Cosby me this time


24. I think his parents are reconsidering the Godparent choice


25. Where are her pants?



H
26.  Don't we all Nate, Don't we all


27. The guy is always first


28. Only the best for his Granddaughter

 30. Sweet, front row parking



31. Does she know what her friend wrote?


32. It's getting old and spicy in this profile


33. Messing with bots isn't as fun as it used to be


34. Blue ones are my favorite

35.  This one caught my eye


36. Am I not turtley enough for your turtle party?






Or Leave, I don't care





Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Killer Combo OJ Simpson and Aaron Hernandez Signed Jerseys Being Sold


Anyone who lived through or grew up in the 90s remembers the famous White Bronco, owned by OJ Simpson, being chased down the interstate...in what was probably the slowest police chase in history. 

OJ was arrested, charged and tried for the murder of his ex wife and her friend. He wasn't convicted but everyone knows he did it.

You probably also remember former Patriots 'star' Aaron Hernandez being convicted of murder. 

O.J. Simpson and Aaron Hernandez will forever be known for the criminal behavior rather than their performance on the field. It's too bad because O.J. was a legend. 



They never played on the field together but they will be enshrined together in one lucky fan's house. Two jerseys, one signed by each player, is being auctioned off with a starting bid of just under $10,000. 



#KillerCombo is by far the most brilliant hashtag of the year. 

Snap this up quick as you'll likely never get the chance to own something so infamous as this piece. 














Saturday, June 9, 2018

20+ Car Hacks to Upgrade Your Ride



If you maintain your vehicle your car will last a long time. Most people think of oil changes and tire rotations but you should take care of the interior of your car as well. Not only will these hacks prolong the life of your car but they'll also make your driving experience a bit easier and more fun in some cases. 

1. Muffin Tins for the Win

This idea is perfect for extra-large trips to fast food joints. Place a muffin tin inside a basket and use it to transport group-sized drink orders.





2. Fantastic Elastic

Use a regular old rubber band to rig up a mount for your cell phone. In a pinch you can use it when you need to follow your GPS.



3. Car-a-biners

Attaching a couple carabiners to the headrests in your car creates useful storage for things like umbrellas and bags. It can keep your grocery bags from spilling their contents while driving and frees up floor space for larger items.



'
BONUS HACK: Get the padded version and use them to carry multiple grocery bags at one time.



4. Paying A Toll

Next time you come to a toll, don't panic, store some coins in a small plastic tube like this empty M&M's container, you won't have to worry about that ever again.



5. Color up your dashboard



6. Shoe organizer for the backseat. 

You can use one for more than shoes. Keep all your things neatly stored and easily accessible.



7.  Hair Management 

Dog hair is one of the hardest things to get out of furniture and car seats. However, with the help of a spray bottle filled with water and a rubber squeegee, you'll be able to clean it up in no time.



8.