10 of the Funniest Dog Toys

I don't even know how I came across this first one but then it led me down a rabbit hole on Amazon. Here are 10 hilarious dog toys you can buy for your dog. You'll laugh every time.

Click on each title for a link to the product.

 

Moody Pet Humunga Stache

 

 

OMG Doy Toys Evil Dictator Kim Jong Un

Gilbert the Farting Giraffe Plush Dog Toy

 

Moody Pet Humunga Junior Tongue Toy

Bling Rock Star Teeth Shaped Ball Toy

 

 Big Smile Puppy Chew

Moody Pet Human Teeth Dog Toy

Gnawsome Silly Lips Dog Chew Toy

Stoggie Squeaker Fetch Dog Toy

 

 

iFetch Interactive Ball Launchers for Dogs

 

Nerf Dog Tennis Ball Blaster

 

 

2018 State Of The Union Drinking Game

President Trump is going to give his first ever State of the Union Address tonight. Given his track record on speeches, and going off script, this could be the craziest address ever. 

We all know that Trump likes saying everything is "Fake News" and likes to praise Russia and Putin so why not turn tonight into a drinking game...Being drunk will probably help get you through the entire thing.
Please drink responsibly and NEVER drink and drive...your dog won't understand why you didn't come home...your cat will likely rejoice so don't give that asshole the satisfaction.

Here are the rules: 

Take a sip if Trump says “Russia” or “China.”

Take a swig if Trump praises Putin.

Take a shot if Trump says something in Russian.

Take a shot if Trump says “fake news” or “collusion.”

Take a swig if Trump says “witch hunt.”

Take a shot if Trump names specific news outlets.

Take a sip if Trump claims things are “going great.”

Take a swig if Trump claims credit for something great he had nothing to do with.

Take a shot if Trump claims credit for something that hasn’t even happened, 

or that happened prior to his presidency.

Take a sip if Trump mentions the Democrats.

Take a swig if, at any point, Democrats stand to applaud.

Take a shot if Trump speaks kindly of Democrats.

Finish the bottle if Trump creates a new nickname for any Democrat during the speech.

Take a sip if Trump goes obviously off script. 

Take a swig if Trump makes “wise guy” type gestures with his hands.

Finish the bottle if Putin is actually in the audience.

Drink all the alcohol in your house if Kanye West interrupts and announces his plans to run in 2020. 

20 Twitter Stories Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Page 3

I was in Walgreens and a girl screamed out “this my third Walgreens who tf buying up all the plan b’s?!” 😭😭😭 y’all know I died in there. Like crying tears

— ole' razzle dazzle (@notnice_Jenn) January 1, 2018

today in class this guy I was sitting next to had a bag of carrots & the entire class he kept throwing them into his backpack. I asked him what he was doing & he was like "oh sorry do u want one? they're for Kent" and then just whips open his backpack to show his chinchilla Kent

— char (@charlottejorrey) December 4, 2017

Earlier today I went to a girl's highschool soccer game and there was a rough play where two players went to the ground. I guess one of them pulled the other's hair so she gets up and says "I liked it better when your bf pulled my hair" not even the ref knew what to do. I fainted

— Ricky Corona (@RickyCoronaa) December 30, 2017

just heard a drunk girl outside my house scream “I’m going to Jeff’s!” and like three friends simultaneously said “you are not going to Jeff’s” and honestly that’s the most relatable shit of all time

— triscuit (@kaspanky) December 21, 2017

So get this, two years ago in South Padre this girl let me log into her Spotify premium for a pregame and she still hasn't kicked me off it...modern day love story I hope you're doing well babe

— Mike (@CallMeTownes) November 25, 2017

My aunt got a google home for Xmas & she already has “Alexa”. This morning we were messing around with the google home and asked, “okay google what do you think of Alexa” and it answered “I like her blue light” and from across the room Alexa turned on and said “thanks”. im scared

— allison (@AllisonCalhoun1) December 25, 2017

I once tried to surprise my date by not telling her what restaurant we were going to. I accidentally picked the one she worked at. #WorstFirstDate

— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) January 10, 2018

20 Twitter Stories Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Page 2

I met someone today who worked for Triple A and I thought they said Chick-fil-A so after 15 min of talking, I asked what his specific job was and he said roadside assistance and I was like wow chick-fil-a is unmatched...then I asked how they make their sauce and then it got weird

— Josh (@yourejoshinme_) January 5, 2018

just saw an elderly woman shoplift at walgreens and she knew i saw her. she gave me a look like “are you going to snitch?” and i gave her a look like “ hell no, i ain’t no cop” and then we gave each other a look like “fuck the man” it was beautiful

— TRILLIONAIRE💰 (@maltyhops) January 11, 2018

There is a group of women getting on my flight and one has a shirt that says “just divorced” and the others have shirts that say “divorce support group” and they are all plastered. Those are the type of friends everyone needs in their life lmao

— Ashley (@a_pfeiffer13) January 6, 2018

So this girl I volunteer with showed me this video last week of her leg giving out during a HS dive competition and I now watch regularly when i need a laugh pic.twitter.com/UalGTUeb9C

— Lesley Goynes (@lesleygoynes) December 2, 2017

a girl passed out at the party im at and was out for a solid hour or so and then we started playing africa and she rose from the dead right in the middle of the chorus

— *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ (@satinmilk) January 1, 2018

My man just FaceTimed me drunk as hell eating a slice of pizza while walking down the street and he goes YOU WANNA KNOW HOW PERFECT YOU ARE? LOOK AT THIS PIZZA... FOR YOU, I’LL DROP THIS PIZZA. IT’S GONE! and just threw the damn pizza into the street

— Kelly (@kellyblaus) November 27, 2017

once we went to the dentist w my mom & it was just us and 1 other guy in the waiting room. jurassic park was starting on the tv so we sat and waited through the entire movie. no names called. as the credits rolled the other man got up and called my moms name. he was the DENTIST

— kitty ray (@kittaveli) December 24, 2017

This guy got on the bus and just stared at me and Lulabelle on my lap for a solid 30 seconds then goes “are you allowed to have dogs on the bus” and I just shrugged thinking he was gonna give me shit or something but then he pulls out a chihuahua out of nowhere

— alek🐌 (@mogvvai) November 14, 2017

20 Twitter Stories Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

When Twitter only allowed 140 characters it was hard to tell a story or get your point across. Now that they've doubled that number to 280 characters, we get these brilliant gems. 

My coworker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn’t try going back to it for 30 years but he finally did and the moment he stepped in someone yelled “Get the hell out of here Dennis” And that’s probably my favorite story ever

— Brennan (@Bmangall20) December 13, 2017

13 years ago I ordered an m&m blizzard at Dairy Queen and the lady who took my order screamed “ONE SMALL M&M BLIZZARD!!!” at the top of her lungs then immediately turned around and started making it herself and it’s still the funniest thing that has ever happened to me

— hannah sorrell (@hannahkimberlee) December 8, 2017

In my 6th grade science class a girl read "orgasm" instead of "organism" and the class laughed & she was embarrassed. To calm her down our teacher told her everyone would forget in two weeks. It's been 9 years & I still remember Danielle. I fucking remember. I hope you see this. pic.twitter.com/gCXcXbJX2i

— wes (@sewkx) January 6, 2018

My roommate went on a bumble date and was nervous so decided to pound shots in her car once she got to the place they were meeting and the guy was parked next to her and watched her chug vodka for 5 minutes.

Dating is rough.

— Syd (@s_kerekes) December 21, 2017

one time I stumbled into Waffle House ridiculously drunk and the waitress gave me free food and water till I sobered up, made sure I wasn’t driving and that my friend would take me someplace I’d be safe. It’s not a Waffle House, issa Waffle Home. https://t.co/tQZaGUIUXd

— IT Bae (@ICVRUS) January 5, 2018

So they changed my gate in my layover and I ask the employee what the gate changed too. I showed her my screenshotted ticket and she looked at me strange and just ask me where I was going. I told her and then looked at my phone to realize I was actually showing her this pic.twitter.com/ZvfqV4p4yn

— Jordan ☀👀 (@TheRavenousDyke) December 29, 2017

Pro Revenge on an HOA He Doesn't Even Belong To...

If you haven't lived in a neighborhood or building with a Home Owner's Association (HOA), DON'T. As Forrest Gump would put it HOAs are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.

They're supposed to protect property values and keep people from letting their houses go to crap or prevent people from painting their houses say...Pink. I grew up living in one and my parents never had any problems. However, some people get on the board of an HOA and go on a power trip. 

The following story is about a guy who lived in a neighborhood with an HOA. The kicker is that his house wasn't built as part of the neighborhood and existed before the neighborhood was built. So, he wasn't subject to the rules of the HOA.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Many years ago I bought a house in a neighborhood with a very restrictive HOA, however the property I bought preexisted the HOA and was not included in the HOA or restricted in any way.

One of my neighbors seemed to take great offense at the fact that I was not a part of the HOA and did not have to abide by the overly restrictive rules.

From the time that I moved in to the house he started giving me grief. First it was HOA notices that I was under no obligation to follow. When that failed he began to harass me at every opportunity.

For months on end this guy would call in noise complainants anytime I had guests over, no party just guests. He also habitually called in code complainants, and generally harassed me and my family in many other ways. For months he made my life hell.

Finally one night while friends were visiting we got a knock at the door. It was a police officer responding to another noise complaint. WTF? we were just sitting around playing cards. This was the last straw. I decided to get him back.
I formulated a plan.

First you must understand that this was about 30 years ago, there were no cell phones in general use and the average citizen did not have access to the easy communications that we enjoy today, or my plan would have never worked. I have been into radio my whole life so my car and house were well equipped with two way radios. Next, it was fortuitous that my house was in a development that had only one road in or out. Also there was a convenience store on the corner that always had plenty of cars in the lot for me to blend in with.

We put our plan into action on a Friday night. We established an alibi with a close friend in town who would swear that we were at his house playing cards all night.
 
Next I opened the windows and placed my speakers for my sound system up in the windows facing my neighbors house.

We then cleared a hiding place in a closet with a clear view of the driveway. I then got in my car and drove to the store parking lot and found a spot that gave me a clear view of all cars entering or leaving the development.

Once we established that communications were good it was D-hour. My wife turned on the stereo to rock music at full volume rattling the neighborhood. Also every light in the hose went on. The music was so loud I could hear it at the store over half a mile away.

We waited....

Sure enough in about 30 minutes a police car turned into the development. I radioed my wife. Working together, she and her sister quickly turned off the stereo, pulled the speakers from and closed the windows, turned off the lights and then quickly hid in the closet.
 
The police arrived, pulled in the driveway and found an apparently empty and dark house. Windows closed, doors locked, curtains open, lights off, driveway empty. My wife and her sister sat silently in the closet while the officers knocked on doors, shined flashlights in windows, and walked completely around the house.

Eventually they decided the house was empty and left. I watched them exit the development and head back towards town.

We waited about thirty minutes and repeated the procedure. Windows open, speakers up, stereo on full blast, lights on. About 15 minutes passed before the police returned. Radioed my wife. Windows closed, speakers down, lights off. Once again the police went to my house.
 
They tried every door, and spent more time looking in the windows. They even sat in the car out front for about 20 minutes before leaving. About 15 minutes after they disappeared towards town. We repeated the whole procedure once again. This time it was less than 5 minutes before the police returned. This time they had their blue lights on. Oh crap!

The police pulled into my empty driveway, but immediately backed out and went to my jerk neighbor's house.

They were there for more than 30 minutes. My wife couldn't hear everything that was said but there was shouting and cursing.

Eventually the police left, my wife radioed me and I returned home.
Two days later my neighbor's name appeared in the local newspaper as having been charged with misuse of police resources, filing a false report or something like that. I don't remember the exact charges. Hey its been three decades ago.
But after that night I never received another complaint, visit from the city, or police as the result of him. And the other harassment stopped."

Guy Buys Bike From Crackhead at 3am and Finds Owner!!

If you're like me, every time you lock up your bike you think: "I hope it's here when I get back." People in larger cities can probably relate and know that bike theft is a big problem. The more expensive your bike the less you'd like it stolen. Although, the more expensive your bike the more out of place it will look with the person who stole it. Take this bike for example:

This triathlon bike was most likely cost a couple thousand dollars and isn't going to be used to commute to work or the store. It was stolen. Here is how it was returned to it's owner from a post on Reddit...

"Last night I was waiting for my Uber near the Marathon station on Parsons when a dude stumbled by with a Felt Triathlon bike. He asked if I wanted to buy a bike for $50 bucks.

Now, I try not to be the one to judge simply by appearance, but the fact that its mid winter, 3am, your tires are flat, and you are selling a $1200 plus bike for $50 doesn't make me believe your grandma gave the bike to you.

I recently had my bike stolen, so I know the frustration. I told him I would give him $60 if he waited for me to find an ATM. I paid the man and now I have this bike i'm trying to find the owner. I've contact a few people in the Cbus cycling community, had some close hits. So if you know anyone, point me in the right direction."

This story has a happy ending. The owner found the post on Reddit. 

I learned long ago that if anyone ever offers to sell me an expensive bike for a very low price, to buy it right away and go to the police. The chances of it being stolen are pretty high. I don't mind being out $50 to get someone's bike back to them.

Also, if you're in the market for a bike rack, I highly recommend one of these.

KUAT NV 2



THULE T2 Pro XT

Non-Americans Describe Weird Things About the US That We Don't Realize

If you've ever traveled to another country, I'm sure you've seen things which you think are weird but are normal for people in that country. Well, the same applies to the US. We see things here, on a daily basis which seem normal but people from other countries think it's strange.

Comment from discussion Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird?.

Comment from discussion Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird?.

Comment from discussion Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird?.

Comment from discussion Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird?.

Comment from discussion Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird?.

Comment from discussion Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird?.

Comment from discussion Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird?.

Comment from discussion Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird?.

30 Vehicle Advertising Fails

You know what they say, any press is good press. In this case, I doubt anyone will be hiring these guys. They have to have noticed, right?


#1 Yes, yes it does

#2 Then Don't 

#3 He has to notice 

#4 Communist Church 

#5. What kind of services exactly? 

#6. My kind of tour 

#7.  Always good for a giggle.

#8. Practice makes perfect 

#9. This is pretty funny 

#10. Didn't know that needed to be designed 

#11. They'll let you know if you've been doing it wrong

#12. You're the ass man?

#13. Good for Mike

#14. Viagra

#15. What I get when I see one...

#16. Geez, don't open the window

#17. Might wanna change this one

#18. When you need more than a party bus...

#19. Sound painful

#20. I think it translates to anus extinguisher.

#21. She's gonna love it...

#22. What more could you ask for?

#23. Only the best...

#24. Lotta ones about the butt. 

#25. No thanks

#26. Playing the worst music on...

#27. This one is all around creepy

 #28. The rape van

#29. Weird

#30. Another van of whores...